What you are to be you already are: In becoming your word you are invited into a process of discovering your voice and a language that you can live by in parallel with the unfolding of consciousness of who you are.

I am (1/9)
I am in time (2/8)
I am in space (3/7)
And I am conscious (4/6) that I exist in time and space

In the interpretation of the meaning of numbers we see a correspondence in pairs between them. There are two different dimensions, one more personal or material and the other more mental or spiritual.

1/9: "I exist", "I am number 1, I exist as 1 being in one body". And then there is an "I exist" which is something much more subtle and dispersed and has the nineness of the numbers, so 'I exist' also in this defused sense of 9. When I apply consciousness (4/6) also to my multiplicity, it means not only"here I am, I exist" (1), but also 'I exist' in the manifold (9) nature. And then we can arrive at 5/10 (4+1=5), the meeting, the "Word". 2/8: It is time, energy; 2 is duality and also healing the relationships between that duality. The ultimate healing that is required is the separation from you and your infinite. When we say 'what's the problem?' We are basically saying is: "how are you experiencing that duality today by the number 2? This is the mirrorred in the duality of the twist of the 8. it is an infinite twist, an infinite duality and an infinite passion, which is compassion. 3/7: To pass through time we need a shape that will allow us to exist in the 3-dimensional world. We construct and deconstruct all kinds of shapes during our life, both physical andmental manifestations. That is all about "Who are you in whose story?" or "who are they in your story?". The ideas of your role, the status that you think you have, the game that you are playing with the other person, the decoration, the mask, the cover, the game, structures and strategies, stories… that is the third level. In order to live this in action we have a mental persona or projection, which is the construct of the 7. The 7 colours that give shape and permit us to appear in the world. 4/6: Consciousness. We apply that consciousness to the ground of our existence(1/9). We wake up. What for? We wake up to deliver back, we give back the Word (5). Automatically it becomes our Word, so God is born out of our mouth. "You give God back to God". We have lived a free life and in gratitude we freely, liberally offer back. It was given freely, did you receive it freely? And if you can give it back freely then you might be free. The uncertainty is the grace that comes to meet us. 5/10: 5: "The Word" that invites you into consciousness(4); you do not over identify with the shape (3) which is temporary(2), so that you make your shape transparent, to see through to infinity and realise the subtle nature of your existence (1). We make the transition from 1 to many, from many to 1 so they come together and in between 1and 9 is the number 5, the Word, it is the communication between your little micro-self and your macro-self, the communication between your many facets of yourself. What is the relationship? Do they communicate? Do they not? The Teachings (5), the Word is just an invitation to take consciousness (4) about how you apply your shape (3) through the time (2) in the relationship between you (1) and you (9). 10: That is the listening, the extent that you can hear the Word. If you really listen you listen to the connection. If you listen to the connection, then you realise that everything is connected to everything and you are the connection to everything. This is the 10 moment; the wholeness of the absolute. You can not place 10 in any one location, but the 5 in terms of the relation is always in the centre and it always implies the whole. So the 10 is not evident but it is implied through the Word.

2 and 3 The numbers 2 and 3 are the time and the space within which the soul [1] is trapped by sleep and the consciounsess [4] is trapped by the state of hypnosis. There is a way to bring time and space into such a relationship that allows the soul to wake up to consciounsess. 2 + 3 = 5 and 1 + 4 = 5 then 5 + 5 = 10. This is the formula for wholeness. Of course, we use a lot of words to separate but that is because our words become grammatical, they are structure, shape, rules and regulation (3). The 7 laws and the 3 dimensional reality keeps the separation. Also the temporary (2) keeps a gap between consciousness (4).What we have to be ultimately conscious of is the self, our own very essence (1) which is the same essence in everyone in everything (9). The way we play the game, the way we organise our structure, our knowledge and intellectual understanding (which is not intelligence) could also serve towards a transparency, it could help us to see through the problems of life. Most of the times we fall into fascination with the movie of life, we go around saying: "Oh! look at that pretty picture!". We are playing with forms, obeying the rules, and keeping ourselves too busy playing the game rather than using the picture as a means of transparency in order to see through that and beyond.

 

The ship on the ocean Having lost that connection long time ago, we play the game because if wedon't play it, wewill have to go through the separation, the gap (2) and that's very scary because it's a big dark ocean, an abyss. The 3 dimensional tempoary and relative reality gives us a superficial show. We can see the outside: the ship, the flag, birds flying… but there's a whole lot of stuff going on underneath: sharks swimming around in the ocean. And going even more down, down there, you'll feel like a spiral of energy: Oh! that's scary, awful; We don't want to go down there. It's called depression. Look at the word: because when we have depression, that pressure is the pressure that's going to take the subtle essence and pressurise us towards rock bottom. However that rock can become the purest diamond. Also, out there the wind (4) is blowing the sail of the ship. Shall this wind wakes us up: that kind of wind when you are more conscious, or you take a different breath. Or does the wind make us freeze up. That's the most common reaction, inhale and hold the breath, trying to keep out what has already touched us, thinking "Oh, no, no!!, I don't go there because that's going to make me touch something". But what about our own spine, our own essence (1). We do not even know if that exists. And it is true: in some way it doesn't exist because we are not there. We rarely dive within and go through the pressure of the inner depth which will concentrate our essence to the point that we could finally say "I exist". Right know can you even say "I exist" because if I'm asking: Who exists? Which I? Do you have that clarity, would you know what are you talking about? You can only know if you have been there, if you have descended to the inner darkness and became the light that illuminates from within. In most cases we only exist out there dispersed into the horizontality of the world; in our money, car, job, house, family, books… that's where we exist. The first half of life is exactly that: expand out and up, go,go,go!. Open, get out there. Have your karma, have your drama, collect and gather all you can - possessions, experiences, knowledge, friends, enemies, scars, memories and so on. Multiply through division: multiply(1), divide (2), add (3), subtract (4), do it all, no problem. At a certain point, usually around the middle of life there's a kind of turn-around, but it's not a turn-around to go back the way you came. Back to the same place, yes, but in a different direction and with a new awareness; having gathered [which means become] the treasure that you came for. Your consciousness has to turn around and that also means a shift of identity. The part of you that's expanding can only continue into dispersion through 6, 7, 8, 9. That's continuing, going on accumulating and expanding and one day it'll go: 9-10. Pop! Meanwhile if you are lucky, If you have been paying attention during the turn around phase of life you will realise there's another subtle self that has bee journeying from the world of spirit through 9, 8, 7, 6. The mid life identity crisis is a chance to shift your sense of identity from the relative and temporary tothe possibility of permanent, i.e. immortal. Crossing the threshold of number 5 is to let go of historical attachments and face the understanding that you are not waht you thought you were. This is the beginning of the spiritual enquiry, the fundamental spiritual question being 'who am I?' "Know yourself, know yourself" the Teachings advise us, but which self? Not this self that's just multiplying, that is called self-obsession, but to know the self that is coming into focus within the your own ribcage - that is self-knowledge. Which self do you want to know? Self-obsession is hell! Self-awareness has a chance. Nothing is guaranteed but you have the chance. Shiv Charan Singh